Marshall Rosenberg tells the story of when he first began to practice making requests instead of demands with his children. He quickly realized that what he was doing was so novel that even when he fully intended to make a request of his children, they would hear it as a demand and respond in their […]
What’s with All the Giraffes and Jackals?
“No one is going to have any idea what those photos even are,” said Shoko. And then we looked again — multiple pictures of giraffes and jackals on our beautiful new website — mostly jackals! And no context! It seemed a little…odd. So here is the story behind the giraffes and jackals. In the early […]
A Vision for the Practice of Conscious Communication
I would like to see these practice groups for Nonviolent or Conscious Communication become as common as twelve-step groups* – found in any church basement, any day of the week, where you can find people to help with a challenging conversation or issue. The beauty of these “self-help” groups is that they grow like mushrooms […]
Needs Are Actionable – What Does That Look Like?
One of the most helpful things in NVC is the focus on the needs beneath the strategies, feelings and thoughts we experience. Needs are actionable in a way that feelings and thoughts are not. Strategies consciously based on needs are far more effective, efficient and satisfying than scattershot strategies we employ because we feel pressure […]
What Is the Difference between Power and Control?
In my experience, the words power and control are often used interchangeably. For example: “He has the power to fire me.” Or “Money is power.” “She controls my life; I’m powerless.” We also use the word “power” (but not “control”) to refer to a person with inner power like Gandhi or Mandela or Martin Luther […]
Two Ways to Meet a Need
From Robert Gonzales’s “Beauty of the Needs” work and LIFE programs, I have learned that there are two ways to meet a need. One way is to make a request of another person. For example, “I’m thirsty, would you hand me a glass of water?” or “Would you be willing to tell me how you […]
Getting a Taste of Conscious Communication and Practice Groups
The Introduction to Conscious Communication is intended to do two things (+ a bonus): We’d like you to leave an introductory session with a sense of what it feels like to communicate this way, and We’d like you to experience the kinds of things we do in our practice group meetings. As a bonus, I’d […]