From Robert Gonzales’s “Beauty of the Needs” work and LIFE programs, I have learned that there are two ways to meet a need.
One way is to make a request of another person. For example, “I’m thirsty, would you hand me a glass of water?” or “Would you be willing to tell me how you feel when you hear that?”
The other way to meet a need (this is my paraphrase) is to go to meet a need as if it were a dear old friend. “Who are you? How do you live in me? What do you mean to me? How do I experience you in my body? Where are your edges?” And so on. This exploration can go on for a long time.
My own experience is that when I sit with my need in this way, eventually I reach the point where I see that I am that — this need is not separate from my being. It is a capacity of human beingness. If being were a diamond, the needs would be the facets of the diamond. Different facets “sparkle” at different times in different lights. They are distinguishable from one another and yet they are not separate from the diamond itself. As I meet this need as an aspect of human being-ness, a capacity of human beings, then I can become the one who brings it (even as a longing) into the room. Then watch what happens.
Robert’s book is called “Reflections on Living Compassion” and is available on his website, living-compassion.org.